A Dollar In My Pocket

I was talking with someone today, they had pair of vintage dungarees accidentally disposed of. I know the back story and even helped trying to find such a pair. I understood, empathised and advised how to put it into perspective. I have lost some things in my life that at the time were quite devastating. It reminded me of how small things can seem huge.

I was off shopping for Christmas presents when I was 12. I had my own money I had saved, $8.00. I had a job where I got paid $1;00 per day for delivering groceries on a behemoth of a bicycle. On this day I had bought all the presents I needed and had one dollar left. I felt like a rich man, I reached into my pocket and out it fluttered, quickly scooped up by the person behind me whom when I asked for it back said “finders keepers”. I was devastated, I even went to the Police who said sorry sonny, no proof, can’t help. That was it. In the scheme of things it didn’t matter as I had bought everyone a present, the last $1.00 was going to possibly buy me an ice cream soda. Now why would I remember this 50 years later, even now as I think about it I remembered an earlier loss of a coping saw, brand new and left on a bus. Another incident occurred the week of my first wedding (I know married more than once the loss in that is a whole nother story). I was in town to pick up the suits. I got to the shop and reached into my pocket for the $60:00 and it was gone, I rushed off to backtrack my steps but came back empty-handed, the proprietor said I see you have a cheque book sir, I said yeah but not the money in it to pay for the suits, he said post date it for two weeks and then we will worry about it then. Although I was relieved and thankful the fact that it has stuck in my memory indicates to me that it was a significant blow.

I have yet to work out why some of my most embarrassing, hurtful and frustrating moments seem to be indelibly scorched into my memory. Sure there are moments of triumph and wonder that still reside there. Perhaps I will do some reading about it as I think it is an important factor and can bog us down or leave us stuck when what is essentially a moment in time can impact us in a big way yet the thing is really trivial. I know it didn’t seem trivial then and everything needs perspective however the biggest perspective is that we come into this world with nothing and we take with us out of this world nothing material.

I have a judeo-christian set of beliefs about this life however my beliefs about the next are pan, that is they will pan out in the end. In many ways it is not about what we lose in this life it is about what we leave behind. What is our legacy? What memories do we leave behind for others? What impact on others do we leave behind? It is those things that really matter. I am not talking about money here, I am talking about things that help lives change. It is those moments that cancel out feelings of loss. Looking back and seeing the impact on others, (sometimes we will never see that impact).

Psychologist Julius Segal, in looking at what helps children overcome adversity, wrote that “one factor turns out to be the presence in their lives of a charismatic adult — a person from whom they gather strength. And in a surprising number of cases, that person turns out to be a teacher”. Being an influence that overcomes the adversity of others is not limited to teaching we must remember that if we mourn the loss of $1:00 how much more we must celebrate the people in our lives who bring the gift of overcoming adversity. In doing so and realising this we need to be intentional in doing this in any way we can, whether it be small or large actions. We never know when the smallest act can make a difference.

With love

Paul

Dead Man’s Shoes

 

I spent some time in Taupo this month, doing a house sit.  Now those of you who know me will know that I have been a tad unwell over the last year, I would term it my Anus (diverticular disease)  horribus or my season of Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy.

The Casketeers

I was listening to National Radio the other day and one of the panel recommended a documentary called The Casketeers TVNZ the-casketeers. This is a peep into the life of a funeral firm in Auckland.  

Freedom

Just another word for nothing left to lose, so goes the lyric in “Me and Bobby Gee”. A nice catchy tune covered by  a lot of famous artists over the years. Kris Kristoffersen wrote the song, almost to order, Guy meets Girl, leaves Girl and regrets his decision, he reflected that

Feb the 1st

Feb 1 has come and gone, Feb 1 was my mums birthday, I thought about her as I often do and wonder how things might have been different if she were alive today.  She has been gone 23 years now and whilst I still miss her it is nowhere near the intensity of when she first passed away.

El Zorrito

I have a dog, Zorro is is name, or Zorrito (Little Zorro).  Zorro is a Jack Russell Cross fox terrier, or fox terrorist!

Not another bloody God botherer!

Staggering,stumbling and swaying, I saw the figure in the distance, drunk…. perhaps, as I get closer I see a familiar figure,pastel blue high waisted track pants, pink turtle necked skivvy that is tucked into her pants,

Lust, like and love.

Three words that a 15 year old told me they understood the difference between the other day.  I am fortunate in many ways to have many teenagers around me, at work and home, they keep me honest 

Stop,check your feet, make an appointment (signboards part 1)

So said the sign at the front door of the chemist we passed in Mount Maunganui today http://tinyurl.com/atthemount it was of course referring to a chiropody service they were offering.  I was in a playful mood and stopped my fiance and instructed her to check her feet, I di as well and

Be careful with matches

I learnt early in life about the power of a match.  I saw the result of my brother setting some curtains on fire, I remember the excitement as our coal range exploded into flames from the result of a pan left in the oven as I heated it up for mum to cook dinner on.