Shooting the Breeze

I turned 60 this year, I celebrated it because who knows how long I am on this earthly coil. In reality, it has been a few crappy years for me. Rather boring at times I put 2/3rds of the weight I lost, topping out at a massav2 132 kg, now if that was a kingfish I would be proud but I think more like a whale is more precise, No excuses in the end as it is what I put into my mouth versus what I burn, My ability to exercise has been curtailed yes, simple solution eat fewer calories.

Some who read this will know some of the other personal challenges that I have had, mainly around health and family. It was a stinking decreasing cycle. Not to say it has all been bad because some moments have been great and worthy of celebration however anything good never comes without a cost. I have lost 9 kgs sitting back on 123 kilos and slowly dropping weight. It certainly has been partly because of discipline in what I eat. However at the moment, I have a good breakfast, a light lunch, and very little if anything for dinner because it hurts when I eat and it hurts when I don’t eat and currently the medics don’t know why, nothing nast has shown up in the battery of blood tests and earlier ct scans.

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My pain level now is around 7 on the Richter scale (and we know that pain levels are not linear. have also had a few surgeries, my latest was a shoulder again with repairing and reattaching my biceps. Does that sound sore, well it is, and it’s a long rehab.

I was taking enough tablets to be the rhythm section in a Samba bad as I walk down the hallway. I can say now that I have reduced those by 8. One of the big decisions was to stop taking antidepressants, (they weren’t working for me anyway). Now the typical stopping of these is to slowly ease off for your brain chemicals to readjust, well I just stopped. I feel like I am having better sleep and if anything my mood has improved. It has been over two months now. THIS METHOD OF STOPPING MEDICATION CAN BE DANGEROUS AND YOU SHOULD CONSULT WITH YOUR DR.

I have been on a drug to make sure my heart stays in rhythm I got the all-clear to stop that medication and go onto something that does not cause me to blister from 5 minutes of full sun. A nasty drug however miles better than getting my heart shocked back into rhythm.

I am the chairperson of the local Menzshed, here is a link if you want to know about the MenzShed movement MenzShed purpose. https://www.health.gov.au/our-work/mens-sheds/about-mens-sheds#mens-sheds It was born in rural Australia after the need to take mental health issues seriously and to challenge ideas of masculinity that are toxic and self-destructing. The shed keeps me sane and gives me purpose, it is a safe place to talk. I am a member of a local church however I find that a real struggle with the same racist and misogynistic views that are pumped out of talk-back radio and then shot everywhere like a shower of shit being pumped out of an effluent pond.

Being backward in coming forward is not the way I roll. I call it as I see it and when I hear it I am forthright in challenging those kinds of attitudes. Being 60 is quite good, as the older I get the less I care about whether people like me. A popularity contest is never won by telling the truth and being popular is overrated. An antidote to popularity contests is,

Tell the truth

Have compassion

Honor your commitments

Act intentionally

Show respect

Treat others as we want to be treated

Focus on giving rather than getting

Be fair.

Not a bad start I guess. Well, my brain has run out of concentration, I will end this post here. To be followed up (to write is part of the intentional changes that I am making.

Be kind to yourself and others, tell those whom you love that you love them, look in the mirror and examine yourself, it sets you free.

Paul

His name is Reuben

I remember clearly, every moment (perhaps not every moment) however clarion clear like the call of a Ruru on a still night I remember 26 years ago when Reuben was born. Now when it came to giving our children names I usually deferred, (apart from one) however I took him in my arms and said his name, the only objection was in fact from his older brother who said “his name’s not Reuben it’s Stepen (Stephen was a family friend whom Joshua had taken a shine to. I knew in my heart however that Reuben was his name and so it was.

Now people who know me or Reuben closely will know that it has been one hell of a journey for both of us, Both with our own stories. I am not going to tell you about Reuben’s journey as that’s his to tell. Mine well where do I start, but its not about me. Reuben turns 26 tomorrow, typical of me and my head at the moment, I had talked about it being tomorrow and yet I still rang him to say happy birthday.

I (as normal are carrying on. Lets cut to the chase). I was driving home from a beautiful day today and thinking about it and I felt tears coming to my eyes, why I can’t tell you. It wasn’t a cathartic release, nor any overwhelming sadness though God knows I probably need to do some work on myself again. I digress.

I was thinking about how awesomely proud of how Reuben has taken on the challenges and taken control of his life. I cannot say that I love him more than when he was in the midst of his journey because unconditional love is what I have for all of my children good bad or indifferent relationships as they have been I have loved my children and will do so from the bottom of heart and it is the essence of mv very being. I would lay down my life for my children without thinking twice, but this is about Reuben and a celebration of his tenacity, strength of character and his willingness to give and help others. His willingness to ask and listen to advice. His changes in how he approaches his own decisions and the fantastic choices that he makes.

I am proud (if that is such a thing) of all my children, as they have all faced adversity, I however wanted to celebrate my son Reubens 26th trip around the son, and to do so with a wish that he continues growing (and fiximg my boat and car when he can. He is a talented, resourceful, artistic young man, and my prayer for him is to continue to be happy and to succeed, (ps he is an awesome welder, so if you are looking for an engineering apprentice, hit me up.

In the meantime, Reuben I celebrate you as you continue your journey withing family and manhhod,

I love you, Dad!