Life Is Tough Sometimes.

Courage of your Beliefs.

There are times in your life you have to confront things that you wish you didn’t have to know. There are times when telling the truth will be hurtful and even perhaps devastating. There are times in your life when you fully understand that being a bearer of the truth seldom wins a popularity contest.Popularity contests are way over-rated, I have been there and tried to go with the flow, don’t cause any ripples, keep my head behind the parapet however in the end the result is just another sandwich where the filling is crap. It doesn’t matter how much bread you have the sandwich is always going to taste like crap. You can eat it fast or slow, drink something with it, or eat something alongside it but the enduring memory will be the taste of crap. How long that memory lingers is the thing that I can be in control of, and the other thing is that understanding that I choose to eat that sandwich because of my beliefs and values puts it into perspective.

Groucho Marx famously said, “I’d never belong to a club that had me as one of its members”. I have a chequered history in clubs, it comes from being an outsider, a leftist, Pinko, Commie Liberal I have been called (one of the nicer insults). I have learnt to brush these off for the noisome vapours that they are, if you allow them to settle then they become pervasive, and hard to clean off despite many washes and scrubbings.

I have learnt, albeit rather slowly at times the value of Oscar Wildes’s wisdom, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Authenticity and truth are intertwined, they are co-joined twins which if separated both will die. Believe me when I say I have tried. I guess at 60 years old I have learnt a bit and the more I learn the less I care. I don’t care if someone is a raving conspiracist, I may challenge them however I understand that short of administering a frontal lobotomy (if only I could tolerate a bottle in front of me) they won’t change.

Am I immune to that kind of dogmatic concrete thinking? No not immune but quite well vaccinated, as I have written before, however, Socrates said an unexamined life is not worth living. It beholds us to regularly take stock and ask ourselves if you we are being being true to ourselves and remember that only live fish swim upstream, only Dead fish float, with the current,

Paul.

A Letter to my Sons

Yesterday, I wrote a letter to my Sons, I have three wonderful intelligent young men who I count as my sons. One is to be a son-in-law but as I said family is more than blood it is a relationship.

Firstly I am immensely proud of you, and love you all. You have faced a number of hurdles and you have negotiated them and have gone onwards and upwards.

1. The first piece of advice is the importance of perseverance. I often gave up as a young man at the first hurdle, too hard, too hurtful, too demeaning, too damn stubborn. It was not until my 40’s I learned the value of perseverance and that was by doing. I graduated in 1998 with a degree with two majors, my student id is 8340669. 1983 was my first crack and failure, I had absolutely no idea of what I was doing and didn’t ask anyone for help. Perseverance in all you do will serve you extremely well regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. Never ever give up, you can lie down, take a rest get assistance but never give up.
2. The next piece of advice is not be afraid to reach out for help, even I, with my unending wisdom and intelligence don’t know everything. Again it was in my 40’s I learned to reach out for help. Frankly I was an emotional bag of shit with more unanswered questions than not. They boiled down to my self image in the end. I had to learn to look in the mirror, see what I saw, and dealy with the ugliness and vulnerabilities that impacted on my ability to be a good father, husband and friend. On that I am still learning. Don’t wait to be told you need Palmolive Gold was the advertising jingle that was designed to shame you from smelling like a teenage boy! Listen to your inner voice and be guided by it.
3. Fear not (for I am with you), ok some license there, fear not because in the end if all you have is your family and your integrity then that is enough. Understand that you are never alone, that even if it is on the end of a phone someone who loves you is always there. That has got me through some extremely dark days and times and continues to even today.
4. Realise that none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes (yes even me). I have often said and I still stand by it,that we are not measured by our mistakes but rather by how we deal with them. Don’t be afraid of owning up, remember that I am always here in the good bad, and the ugly. I am not talking about being a doormat and taking the “blame” for everything. That’s a fool’s game, don’t be afraid to ask for advice if you have stuffed up.
5. Women, well first off read my letter to my Daughters I wrote yesterday, see where you fit into it, don’t be controlling ugly, or negative, and never ever be violent, physically or verbally ugly. Immediately you do that you have lost, avoid you always like it is a giant dog turd. If you are struggling in a relationship seek some counsel, first, look at yourself.
6. Be slow to anger and quick to forgiveness, remember that words once out are very hard to swallow or take back, (I have learned to sit on my hands so I don’t slap stupid people but sitting on my tongue is a little more difficult. Remember your worth is not measured by what you own, or what your title is but by your integrity, be men of integrity, be trusted that you are a man of your word, let your yes be yes and your no be no
7. My brain hurts now, I am sure that there is more to be said but if you are in doubt refer to my first statement. I am not afraid to die, however, I prefer to be alive and to be surrounded by family, Love Cronny Senior.

A Letter To My Daughters

 I have four beautiful intelligent and articulate daughters, three by birth, one is a daughter-in-law, (remember family is not defined by blood but by love). My infinite and unending wisdom is borne from learning, looking, and experience.

The learning has been experiential, instruction, curiosity (I have yet to finish reading the book of Women, every time I get close I find there is another chapter, go figure?

The first part of my letter is simply a statement of fact. I love you all unconditionally and will always be there as much as I am able.

1. Now forgive me if I preach to the converted however my first instruction comes from Proverbs 4:23 King Solomon said it best: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”. This is a lesson that I have learnt the hard way and to my shame, I have been the cause of pain this advice (almost a commandment) stands equally for men and for women.
2. The second jewel of wisdom that I wish to impart is that you are wonderfully made, do not let anyone tell you otherwise, note I didn’t say perfect because none of us however if people come at you with rocks, arrows, insults and criticisms fear not, because I am with you and whilst I have breath in my body and a sound mind I will defend you.

3. Never be afraid of looking at yourself and telling yourself the truth, whether it be good bad, or indifferent, be reflective and willing to seek counsel and learn. Self-reflection will help you learn and become more secure in yourself. I am not talking about some navel-gazing mantra of thinking about everything you do, merely be aware of those prompts in your heart and spirit. Don’t be afraid to engage with them and if necessary seek wise counsel.
4. Don’t be afraid of reaching out for help when you feel overwhelmed or condemned or sad.
5. Be very wary of people who say you should not feel like that or similar statements, they have nothing to add to your life, your feelings, emotions etc are yours, don’t be afraid of engaging with them and changing but don’t allow a didactic tyrant to condemn you with words like you shouldn’t , you must, you always, you never. These are not words that breath life, these are words that bring condemnation.
6. Take time to listen and reflect, try not to be reactionary, and remember life is not a court of law and sometimes the most powerful thing is in fact to say nothing. But by taking breath and pausing then you can allow your heart words to reply, turn from how dare you say that to words like I feel… When you…state the specific action your partner takes.I feel…share how you feel inside when your partner did that thing.I imagine…try to imagine your partner’s perspective. How do you imagine they see the situation? Imagine a good intention.I need/want…share what the frustrated part of you say that it needs in this situation. You want to identify what you need and want in this situation, not what you want your partner to do.Would you…make a specific and concrete request to your partner.
7. Remember there is no rule that says you have to engage with toxic people, you can simply say I do not want to talk about that, I don’t want you to call me. I am not talking about significant others that you wish to have a fulfilling and ongoing relationship with, more those who wish to impose on you their belief systems or are insecure, or… toxicity is easy to spot it consists of statements and actions that break you down not build you up
8. In all other situations refer to my first statement, I love you all unconditionally and will always be there as much as I am able.
9. With love and blessings from the old man… Cronny Senior

I love Fish

First published by the writer at https://paulcronin.substack.com/

It may seem oxymoronic to say you love something that you eat, well sometimes I will resemble that remark. I will live with that and the approbation of all the vegans in the world. What I will not live with is the ongoing razing of fish stocks, especially in the part of the world that we control. The science is clear, fish stocks in New Zealand are in bug trouble. Why have successive Governments failed to do something about it? Sure Governments have played around the edges however they have not made significant inroads. When opportunities arise it looks like major players in the fishing industry have undue influence on government policy.

A decision on the limit of catches of Tarakihi has ended up in court and the court has said that “Fishery’s sustainability (is) sic more important than commercial interests. Using voluntary industry plans to set quotas is just plainly stupid, it cannot be overstated. It is simply giving the keys to shops to ram raiders so that they will feel better. The Court of Appeal has wisely ruled that an approach that prioritises commercial interest is wrong. The minister of fisheries at the time claimed he had an obligation to balance the socio-economic impacts of his decisions against his responsibility to ensure the sustainability of the species. If there is no fishery left then the socio-economics are going to fall through the floor anyway.

The other issue that has become front and central lately has been the failure to ban bottom trawling in the Hauraki Gulf Fishery. Another socio-economic issue? There are companies that do not use bottom trawling. They are small however they use methods that limit bycatch and allow for high-grading fishing which allows the undesirable fish to be released for another day. It is possible to fish commercially without trawling. This is clearly again the hand of the big players in the industry reaching out.

I happen to know quite a bit about the Hauraki Gulf, having been on a forum that is charged with the protection of the Gulf. I can quote nitrate and phosphate rates, how much silt enters the gulf, and where it comes from. I can tell you how perilous the fish stocks are. The problem with plastics entering the food chain is appearing, however, that is a blog for another day.

The Government intends to create new protected areas raising the current protected areas total 0.3% of the park and new protected areas will increase that to about 6%, in my learned opinion changing something from diddly squat to a little bit more diddley squat is still diddly squat, it is really just another equus fumans stercore!

The biggest issue is that very few people care, around 40,000 people signed a petition against bottom trawling. That a veritable drop in the bucket and does nothing to encourage governments of all ilk to change anything. It is heartening however to see the legal process intervening and calling the plans and policies for what they are. Long may that continue.

I will write about the so-called socioeconomic risks in cutting fishing quotas and show that they are philosophical fallacy and are nothing more than governments bowing to well-resourced and very powerful lobbying by those with a vested financial interest. They don’t care about any societal interest beyond making returns to shareholders as high as possible. They are wrong in that assumption as well.

I will finish with an old comparison, what is the difference between a bucket of stercore and voluntary fishing regulation from the industry? Simply the bucket.

Paul

Spirituality?

I have been to Church twice this week. (once to be a part of the “Worship” team as a singer. The other to mark the passing (some may call it a funeral, others a celebration) of a friend with whom our family has had a relationship of 60 years plus!

On Sunday the pastor spoke of spirituality, how in his opinion people may call themselves atheists or agnostic but many of them are spiritual. Patrick is the pastor at a small Baptist Church I attend. I have a relationship with the people of the church as a corporate that is mixed. Many of them are true blue right-wingers only a hair width away of, well I am not going to use the f-word here, no not the f-bomb. I have never met a true-life fascist.

I have met some who hold fascist beliefs, and I have read the history of fascism and of some of the leaders of fascism. However, a common tranche of thought in fascism is very prevalent. The ruling class maintains control over the masses and is willing to use almost any means to justify the suppression of political dissent ie (something that they believe is wrong. Modern-day leaders who seem to believe in this are the strongmen as they are called, people like Donald Trump, and Vladimir Putin. They share an ability to engage in cognitive dissonance in such a way that they probably cannot tell the difference between the truth and a lie. Some of the lies are outrageous.

If you can defend this, you can defend anything,” wrote Russell Moore, a theologian whose actual paid job it is to try to get those in power in the USA to think about a higher power. Moore was speaking of the attack on Capitol Hill where the invaders displayed Jesus Saves signs next to those calling for the hanging of Vice President Mike Pence, moreover once they had gained access they thanked God for the opportunity “to get rid of the communists, the globalists and the traitors” within the U.S. government. These people use the name of Christians while invoking behaviour reminiscent of the ancient Berserkers that worshipped Odin, the supreme Norse deity, and attached themselves to royal and noble courts as bodyguards and shock troops. Defenders of the Faith.

Putin since he became president has cast himself as the true defender of Christians throughout the world, the leader of the Third Rome. Giles Fraser is a journalist, broadcaster and Vicar who wrote about the spiritual destiny of Vladimir Putin Ukraine a religious war? Sound familiar?

Are these leaders using or actively encouraging the dominance of political religion over professed religion? For many, loyalty to Trump is a blind allegiance. The result is that many Christian followers of Trump “have come to see a gospel of hatreds, resentments, vilifications, put-downs, and insults as expressions of their Christianity, for which they too should be willing to fight.”

Are we immune to this in Aotearoa/ New Zealand, one of the most sickening images of the last election was the image of Judith Collins “praying” at a church, in a highly stylized way. Ugh, really, (she didn’t get elected, does that mean that God was not on her side? National has more fundamentalist Christians at the top now than ever and for them religion is political so expecting National to leave their religion out of politics is just naive.

All this is not an aside from my story of going to church twice this last week. In the first service, the views (albeit slightly veiled) were redolent of Trumpism, whilst the day after, at a traditional Catholic Requiem Mass, the epitome of being a god-loving Christian person was one whose doors were always opened, whose love encompassed her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and her great-great-grandchildren. and I knew her deceased husband, one could almost describe her as a saint.

This contrast I struggled with last night, not being able to sleep because I “felt” that the spirituality at the traditional Requiem Mass, far surpassed the evangelical Protestant service the day before. There is like all narratives a back story however I have been a part of both expressions of belief. Does it mean that I will return to the Mother Church, (remember that Putin believes in Mother Russi largely because of the Mother Church of Orthodoxy) whilst Trumpism wears its bible-thumping brand of spirituality as a holy amulet?

People who think you can legislate morality (therefore Christian beliefs) are immature, shallow-thinking bigots, a pox on anyone who seeks to impose spirituality on others by government. Yet I fear that is what I see arising, God save us from the Shane Retis, Chris Luxons, and Brian Tamakis of this world, they are deluded and they preach a gospel of hate. This is not an advertisement for Labour, it is an imploration to look at your personal beliefs, measure them with the words of Jesus and for the sake of humanity leave your religion out of your consideration of voting.

Ps I am no Saint Paul.

K is for Kat

No I am not kidding. Is Kris Kluxon really Klinger in disguise?

https://open.substack.com/pub/paulcronin/p/k-is-for-kat?r=87ee6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

The politician who aspires to be the Prime Minister of Aotearoa New Zealand dropped a klanger yesterday. In the scheme of things, Luxon had a gift audience. He got down on the floor and was engaging with the children and then showed his prowess at spelling, I guess in his household his kat gets fed from a kan. His spelling mistakes which will surely follow him all the days of his life. Luxon will be known as the Kat Kan man. Perhaps he has been eating too many Kit Kats, maybe he has been drinking too much of the ACT parties Kool Aid? Perhaps he was trying to be Kool?

Shooting the Breeze

I turned 60 this year, I celebrated it because who knows how long I am on this earthly coil. In reality, it has been a few crappy years for me. Rather boring at times I put 2/3rds of the weight I lost, topping out at a massav2 132 kg, now if that was a kingfish I would be proud but I think more like a whale is more precise, No excuses in the end as it is what I put into my mouth versus what I burn, My ability to exercise has been curtailed yes, simple solution eat fewer calories.

Some who read this will know some of the other personal challenges that I have had, mainly around health and family. It was a stinking decreasing cycle. Not to say it has all been bad because some moments have been great and worthy of celebration however anything good never comes without a cost. I have lost 9 kgs sitting back on 123 kilos and slowly dropping weight. It certainly has been partly because of discipline in what I eat. However at the moment, I have a good breakfast, a light lunch, and very little if anything for dinner because it hurts when I eat and it hurts when I don’t eat and currently the medics don’t know why, nothing nast has shown up in the battery of blood tests and earlier ct scans.

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My pain level now is around 7 on the Richter scale (and we know that pain levels are not linear. have also had a few surgeries, my latest was a shoulder again with repairing and reattaching my biceps. Does that sound sore, well it is, and it’s a long rehab.

I was taking enough tablets to be the rhythm section in a Samba bad as I walk down the hallway. I can say now that I have reduced those by 8. One of the big decisions was to stop taking antidepressants, (they weren’t working for me anyway). Now the typical stopping of these is to slowly ease off for your brain chemicals to readjust, well I just stopped. I feel like I am having better sleep and if anything my mood has improved. It has been over two months now. THIS METHOD OF STOPPING MEDICATION CAN BE DANGEROUS AND YOU SHOULD CONSULT WITH YOUR DR.

I have been on a drug to make sure my heart stays in rhythm I got the all-clear to stop that medication and go onto something that does not cause me to blister from 5 minutes of full sun. A nasty drug however miles better than getting my heart shocked back into rhythm.

I am the chairperson of the local Menzshed, here is a link if you want to know about the MenzShed movement MenzShed purpose. https://www.health.gov.au/our-work/mens-sheds/about-mens-sheds#mens-sheds It was born in rural Australia after the need to take mental health issues seriously and to challenge ideas of masculinity that are toxic and self-destructing. The shed keeps me sane and gives me purpose, it is a safe place to talk. I am a member of a local church however I find that a real struggle with the same racist and misogynistic views that are pumped out of talk-back radio and then shot everywhere like a shower of shit being pumped out of an effluent pond.

Being backward in coming forward is not the way I roll. I call it as I see it and when I hear it I am forthright in challenging those kinds of attitudes. Being 60 is quite good, as the older I get the less I care about whether people like me. A popularity contest is never won by telling the truth and being popular is overrated. An antidote to popularity contests is,

Tell the truth

Have compassion

Honor your commitments

Act intentionally

Show respect

Treat others as we want to be treated

Focus on giving rather than getting

Be fair.

Not a bad start I guess. Well, my brain has run out of concentration, I will end this post here. To be followed up (to write is part of the intentional changes that I am making.

Be kind to yourself and others, tell those whom you love that you love them, look in the mirror and examine yourself, it sets you free.

Paul

His name is Reuben

I remember clearly, every moment (perhaps not every moment) however clarion clear like the call of a Ruru on a still night I remember 26 years ago when Reuben was born. Now when it came to giving our children names I usually deferred, (apart from one) however I took him in my arms and said his name, the only objection was in fact from his older brother who said “his name’s not Reuben it’s Stepen (Stephen was a family friend whom Joshua had taken a shine to. I knew in my heart however that Reuben was his name and so it was.

Now people who know me or Reuben closely will know that it has been one hell of a journey for both of us, Both with our own stories. I am not going to tell you about Reuben’s journey as that’s his to tell. Mine well where do I start, but its not about me. Reuben turns 26 tomorrow, typical of me and my head at the moment, I had talked about it being tomorrow and yet I still rang him to say happy birthday.

I (as normal are carrying on. Lets cut to the chase). I was driving home from a beautiful day today and thinking about it and I felt tears coming to my eyes, why I can’t tell you. It wasn’t a cathartic release, nor any overwhelming sadness though God knows I probably need to do some work on myself again. I digress.

I was thinking about how awesomely proud of how Reuben has taken on the challenges and taken control of his life. I cannot say that I love him more than when he was in the midst of his journey because unconditional love is what I have for all of my children good bad or indifferent relationships as they have been I have loved my children and will do so from the bottom of heart and it is the essence of mv very being. I would lay down my life for my children without thinking twice, but this is about Reuben and a celebration of his tenacity, strength of character and his willingness to give and help others. His willingness to ask and listen to advice. His changes in how he approaches his own decisions and the fantastic choices that he makes.

I am proud (if that is such a thing) of all my children, as they have all faced adversity, I however wanted to celebrate my son Reubens 26th trip around the son, and to do so with a wish that he continues growing (and fiximg my boat and car when he can. He is a talented, resourceful, artistic young man, and my prayer for him is to continue to be happy and to succeed, (ps he is an awesome welder, so if you are looking for an engineering apprentice, hit me up.

In the meantime, Reuben I celebrate you as you continue your journey withing family and manhhod,

I love you, Dad!

Hardship Grants, A Rort?

It has been revealed that hardship grants in New Zealand have reached nearly 500 million dollars. This has seen the usual torch wielding, protest howling, pitchfork carrying cretins calling for beneficiaries to be burnt at the stake. (perhaps merely to go hungry and cold). Hardship grants are not just for beneficioaries, however a deeper dive into Government spending shows that the biggest group of beneficiaries are superannuants. costing the taxpayers north of 17 billion dollars. There are over 30,000 of these beneficiaries who earn additional income of over 100,000 dollars per year, worth over 3 billion dollars.per year. So lets look at the numbers.

One One, Two Two, Three Three, Shit, Fuck!

I read the Death notices the other day, just to check if I was still alive, not that I would necessarily want a death notice in the paper. Those who are close to me would know already and why give the miserable buggers who don’t like me reason to celebrate?  I digress, in the notices was the name