Some of my friends that know that I have been struggling with a shoulder injury. there is some damage to be seen on MRI exams but no diagnosis as yet. Frustration abounds for me as one thing after another is ruled out and I have been slowly getting worse. I was at the specialists the other day and she noticed a distinct difference between my arms, a colour change, she seemed to go a little pale and muttered something that needs to be excluded, an unlikely and very rare condition.
Well I had another MRI scan yesterday, over an hour of lying on my back thinking of England,,, sorry wrong blog post, actually I was listening to National Radio, I couldn’t tell you what they were talking about, (tonight it was a special report on cars in Cuba), Now if you have never had an an MRI scan all I can say is that they are not fun, there is endless questions about the presence of metal, these things are huge magnets and if you have any metal on or in you the result can be very nasty, After lying there with a mask over my face and a brace on my chest I was well enough done, a little discombobulated perhaps, definitely as sore as one gets after lying still for well over an hour in one position. Unlike xrays there is no instant answer the results have to be read. Still waiting a couple of days later my mind strays to the un-named suspect in the case of my shoulder (it is un-named because well I shall explain shortly). So angst ridden I turned to the internet, aka Dr Google for succor.
Well attending a consultation with Dr Google is problematic, one never knows who is on duty, now before those of you who have had major finds occur from said Dr, I will say there is sometimes good things to learn from Dr G, and sometimes the reverse. Well for me it was not good, take your pick of the symptoms they were all there that was scary enough, the treatments well they include amputation…. a treatment? Yes there it was well a rapid shutting of the computer followed by a disturbed evening’s sleep followed. I have the MRI scan result and it doesn’t tell me anything, back to plan b, a new specialist and who knows what next, some medication just in case is what I do know apart from that… well welcome to my world.
So an evening of wondering was and is a waste of time, I could have written 1500 word for my novel, a new blog post, perhaps even a poem,at least that would have not been a waste, oh and as to the un-named diagnosis, well I just refuse to accept it is an option, la la la I cant, hear it, just too nasty for me. I am staying away from Dr Google at the moment, and would rather spend my time in a way that is satisfying . Life can be enough of a challenge at times for me that I don’t need to add any more to it.
Like most people I would like to know what is wrong with me, I know how it happened, I just want to know how it will be fixed. The human condition is to want to be in charge of everything and to believe that every question has an answer, well sometimes they don’t, not to say I should give up looking but I am over stressing, takes the laughter away. Take care,