Carparks and Murder

The leading headlines in the paper this morning well not exactly, but Christ College boys were front page, complaining that the lack of parking at school was affecting their education, good luck with that boys, I imagine you are in the Headmasters office already, the other headline was that banning sex workers is a wrong move, banal,boring and hackneyed headlines.  In Hamilton we await to hear the name of the elderly man apparently bludgeoned to death in a toilet, and in Taupo another child is dead,, a spate of child deaths or so it seems at the moment.  Front page news one day and then gone the next. There was a day not that long ago that news such as the murder of Jaques Donker would be front page for days.  However they have found two people one of them so far has been charged, slam dunk, game over next headline.

One can always speculate about deaths such as Donker’s, a public toilet at night and perhaps that is what is happening however it is irrelevant, Donker was loved by his family and now he’s gone. At 71 well one could say he has lived a full life.  What can we say about 1,2,3 year olds murdered?

It is my firm belief that in the majority of cases where children die someone somewhere knew what was going on and for sure someone knows what happened.  There is a group of people protesting outside the office of Christchurch’s CYF (New Zealand’s child protection agency), the family including Leon-Jayet Cole’s father, are holding placards protesting about the involvement of CYF.  It is only a guess but it would seem that somebody was concerned enough to notify the authorities.

The thing about all of this is it seems that death stalks , waiting fir it’s opportunity.  the problem with this is that we can de-personalise death.  Does death stalk, roaming like a monster, looking for its next victim?  I think not.  I have worked in areas where I have had to encounter death, and I have had many encounters with death.  They say death and taxes are the two things in life we can be sure of and in a first world country that is correct.  the rest of life well nothing is secure, things can change in an instant.  Sometimes that can encourage a flippancy towards planning, induce a state of false freedom, other ways it can manifest is through an over compensation, wanting to plan everything.

I have been through a season where life changed rapidly and not often for the better, it has left me a little allergic or more correctly sensitive to change, it has induced a second guessing, what did that really mean, and my friends it is not a great place to be in. I am working through that, day by day, learning to trust my instincts again and to not stress about the things I cannot change. It all takes time.  Some people I am aware live in that space every day where anxiety rules their life, even more terrible.

I had an overnight stay in  hospital recently, it brought a few things to the surface for which I am grateful of.  It allows to me to look at these and to work them through.  Mostly in the past I have had to work these things through in my own, I have someone else in my life to float those things through with and it is good.  Currently I am working on something that is related to that and that is making a transition from being entirely self sufficient to having a place in my life where I can allow someone else to express their love in practical ways as well as emotionally.  i have not been veer good at letting people do things for me and it is something that is not helpful as it brings isolation and restriction.  I hope to write about this as I move through this new journey over the next few weeks.



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