I have been corresponding with a friend of mine recently, her mum is seriously ill, hanging on to life by a thread, she has had a reasonable innings and also has cancer, so if her current illness doesn’t get her the cancer will. She is waiting for God, I haven’t met her at all but from what I know she has had a full lifeand is at peace with her situation. She doesn’t want to be resuscitated should her heart stop, ready to meet her maker, just waiting for God. I have written before about death the links are at the bottom of this post. As I have been corresponding about this I have been reflecting about the whole concept of waiting for God.
In 1999 I was a political candidate in the general election, one of the towns that were in my electorate was TeAroha, at that stage it was a sleepy little place that had been decimated by the political reforms of the neo-liberal ideologists that had captured the country. Most of the big employers in the town were shut down, housing was cheap, the main street was decimated by shop closures, there were a lot of elderly people living there, asked to describe it by another politician I commented that TeAroha was waiting for God. TeAroha has moved on since then, some industry has built up around the place but it still has it’s issues. there are plenty of other places that are doing it worse, Tokoroa, Putaruru,Paeroa, just to name a couple. Tauranga has the reputation of being a place where many people are waiting for God.
This is however a dangerous place to be in that we assume that we will one day be waiting for God, that we will have time to collect our thoughts reflect on life, make peace with their lives. i have written before about how eternity can be just be around the corner. i was reminded of this during the week as I was driving home from Auckland, I was following a van on the motorway, hot and bothered I stopped at the top of the Bombay hills to get some refreshment, had a drink bought some food and then carried on, I noticed the information board said incident at TeKauwhata,expect delays, I was too far along to take a detour so resigned myself to a wait. The traffic was not particularly heavy and the weather was brilliant. I had reflected on how everyone seemed to be in a hurry. I could see the flashing lights as I approached, Ambulance, Fire, Police they were all there. As I neared I saw a white van and another car, they were cutting someone out of the car, there was no visible damage to the van, it was the same van that I had been keeping pace with…. it certainly set my mind thinking, that could have been me,not a new experience but a good reminder of the temporal nature of life.
I am a bit frustrated at the moment, carrying a couple of injuries which gives me no ability to make plans around work, just drifting along, feeling like I should be something with my life… the reality is however that I am, I am parenting, being a friend, teaching. yes there are many things I am not doing, I look at the painting I need to do, my lawns, things I have to tidy up and I sigh. Nothing else I can do. I helped a friend shift these last few days and she had quite a bit of stuff, I thought about all the stuff I have in my life, not just material stuff but relationships, responsibilities just things, I can be busy doing nothing very much. I thought what if I didn’t come home one night, in a way I realised that in my own way I am waiting for God, not good enough, things to do I have, there will always be undone things in my life I guess but that is no reason to leave things undone if I can do something about it. Below is a link to a poem I wrote this week,
In her chair she sits
Looking out the window
Nothing much to see
Waiting for God
In his bed he prays
Now I lay me down to sleep
Please Lord take my soul
Before I wake
Waiting for God
Joints that creak.
You can find the rest of the poem if you want if you follow this link.