Stone Walls, a prison?

There are many examples through history of people who have been imprisoned, who have not been broken by their physical imprisonment, they speak of many different things that enabled them to endure their incarceration. Above all else they had hope. For the majority of these people the prisons were their not because of there own actions but others, some contemporary examples are, Arthur Alan Thomas, Teina Pora, Peter Ellis to name a few New Zealand examples, names like Nelson Mandela,Rubin Carter to name a few more noteworthy people who have been unjustly imprisoned.. These people are not who I want to write about, they are people who have made their impression upon the world in one way or another, the people who I want to  talk about are those who make their own prisons by their minds.  I  am not talking about people with classical psychological problems, phobias and the like but people who construct a narrative around their own lives which is based on a tissue of lies.

I have met many people in a professional basis who continue existing in life on a platform of lies, on a personal level I have met a number of people whose existence in this world is based on a platform of pathos that they have established to support their existence.  They use different forms to perpetuate their lies.   Some use fake illness, others use power and control techniques.  Power and control are tools that take some expertise to use, many of those who use these things don’t know that they are using them, they are so concrete in their belief that they are right they can never admit that they are wrong and they create an existence where they blame everyone else for all the problems in their lives to escape from the reality of their own culpability. They create such an alternative reality that they can end up believing their own lies.Sometimes they focus their lies on one person.

Generally these people are harmless enough as often they are loners,people who live on the fringe of society, they can suck some people into their lives, usually adults,as such they generally harmless, it is when they draw children into their web of deceit.  They use them as weapons and persist in doing so.  There are many ways that they do this, from oversharing information that children do not need to know, seeking approval by getting children to agree with them and one of the absolute worst ways is swearing children to secrecy.  Now there are times that some things need to be secret but as a general rule if you need a secret kept don’t tell it to a child unless there are compelling reasons for this to occur..

Making children keep secrets is dangerous and abusive.  It is  dangerous because most abusers use secrecy as a way of perpetuating the abuse.  It is abusive because children who hold secrets can end up extremely confused about what they can and cant say to others and they end up with divided loyalties. Placing the responsibility for secrecy is indicative of poorly developed reasoning and this reasoning usually   shows through the rest of their life.  Unfortunately reasoning with such people is usually a waste of time.  They see themselves as always being right in the first place.  the ability to reflect on ones own humanity and being able to admit to mistakes is the one thing that will ensure that your mind is never in prison

Paul

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