I celebrated 3000 reads the other week. I see it has hit 3100 now. My blog seems to be developing a critical mass. As I reflected on this I had some feed back. It went “ Hi loved reading your blog in some ways I feel an intruder reading what is from the heart of a person I know but not well enough as I would like or more precisely I should.” I was flattered and challenged at the same time. Challenged in that I wanted to have a look to ensure that the hype was not hyperbole. The feeling like an intruder bit intriqued me. I though well I guess that is one of the reasons reality tv gets so many hits. There is also a hint of voyeurism in that as well. I think at some level there is a bit of voyeurism in all of us. Witness the behaviour of people at an accident scene. The audiences of the news. Watching the news is part voyeurism at times.
people talk about seeking authentic experiences. There is however a long history of literary fraud http://www.theguardian.com/books/2001/nov/15/news . How do people know I am not another one of those. Well I guess it doesn’t really matter. I write about things that are universal, I identify feelings and attitudes that people recognise and identify with. That in itself is authentic. I have a lot of things to write about at the moment so I guess that I will have to find my way of tapping through them all.
Top of the list for me is however the matter of the murder of my friend and foster daughter Robyn Alma Grace. I blogged about this earlier, https://kiwipaulspoetry.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/murder-up-close-and-personal/
Well this week her murderer was sentenced. David Adrian Holl was sentenced to life with 15 years non parole. David was 20 years old and he was her son. He murdered his mum as revenge. Robyn had told him to leave as he was violent towards her. David is a nutter, but not in New Zealand. He was in the care of mental health authorities at various times, he was married to a woman whom he met whilst sectioned in a mental institution I am told. David bludgeoned his Mother to death, but because he has a “personality disorder he is bad not mad”. What an absolute crock of shit. Our society has become so god damned permissive and accepting that we allow sick people like this to live freely and then we wring our hands and tut tut. It is my belief that he should be standing in the dock with those who say he is not mad .
Robyn was let down more than once by the medical community. She was fighting melanoma that was aggravated by mis-diagnosis. Robyn had communicated her concerns on a number of occasions about her son. Robyn’s problem was that she herself was not the wellest of woman. Robyn was no saint, She had a quick temper, a quick tongue and really bad taste in men. Robyn had though a universal disease that made her the same as everyone else. She wanted to be loved. I reconnected with Robyn about 18 months before she was murdered. She called me dad and I loved her.
She tried hard but was limited by circumstances and past abuse. Men took advantage of her. Robyn’s daughter expresses her love for the man who killed her mother and at the same time expresses her love for her mum. Her ex husband tells this young girl that there is nothing wrong with the way she is thinking, in doing so he legitimises Robyn’s murder. Just like John Tamihere and Willie Jackson legitimise the Roast buster rapists. I will blog about that in the next blog or two suffice to say that the roast busters are just a reflection of a permissive, non caring society.
My dear friend Robyn lost her life because our society is so afraid of trampling on the rights of people who have shown themselves to be incapable of living by universal rules. This young man has no place in our society and should never be released. He has no right to walk free again and in my opinion will remain threat to society. It is not the first time that Io have come face to face with this kind of crime. Mental health authorities, leaders and policy steers have blood on their hands and legislators have the same blood. Pontius Pilates the lot of them, a pox on the liberals who value freedom of the individual over collective community safety, and a pox on those who support it by not calling it what it is, a moral failing that is unacceptable and has no place in a modern enlightened first world country.
May God rest your soul Robyn,
I was proud to have you call me Dad. I am sorry that I was not able to protect you. I will never forget you!