The face of evil?

ImageHave a look at the face of evil.  Here it lies the face of a child abusers, one as bad as the other.  ImageRead the stories and if I sound harsh well perhaps I am.  I do not believe either of these people are fit to parent now and probably in the future.  He kidnaps her and she tries to escape. She gets dragged behind the car weeks in hospital, amputated foot horrendous injuries, ongoing treatment, and she wants to marry him.  If it weren’t true it would be the script for a d grade movie.  The aggravating and ironic details of this story only serve to make it more offensive.  This woman was on her way to pick up a car bought with the proceeds of an ACC lump sum payment, compensation for some trauma that she has suffered, and here we are again she will be eligible for another payment.  She proudly states that she will stand by her man and in the media she is reported as saying she intends to marry him. 

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11112129

We don’t hear about her children of which she has at least eight, three in her care at the time of the incident, it may well be that they are no longer in her care.  We can only hope. In my opinion she should have very limited contact with them, once every six months is proven to be enough so they know who their mother is.  This contact should be supervised.   There is no way that she should be an active parent nor her chosen partner. An associate described their experience of the way that she was treated by her new partner “I only met him once at the West End pub and he was telling her, ‘Shut the f*** up and roll me a smoke’,” said a friend of Ms Eriepa’s who asked not to be named. 

Now before we talk about the howls of protest about how this woman is a victim as well, I acknowledge that undoubtedly she has a narrative of her own to share, and to say well I don’t care is untrue. But she is an adult and she needs to grow up.  I would wager that Ms Eirepa has had the gaze of Child Youth and Family over her before it is almost inevitable.  I promise you her story is not unique.  I also promise you that those that be have turned a blind eye towards parents who show by their choice of partners that they are not competent to parent.

I know of a case when a woman who was a drug addict kept her children for many years, she sold her body to pay for the drugs, in itself unremarkable, Here is the nub it was often with her children in the home and using the children’s beds for her business.  Her ex partner notified this behaviour to the department and he was dismissed on many occasions as a bitter ex partner only trying to discredit her.  I have investigated other similar cases in the past.  I can say this, often CYF is the last to know.

Family friends and neighbours are aware of abuse and often do nothing about it.  They dismiss it with statements like “She is a wonderful, beautiful person but she just picks the wrong men. 

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11111729. Oh she / he really love their children they just have a few difficulties.  I didn’t think it was so bad. 

We should not be hearing how Sonny Te Aramoana Waiti is a good man, who was only trying to show Ms Eirepa that he loved her and that she will stand by him, we should be hearing her saying, I have to choose between him and my children and I choose my children.  We should be hearing her family saying we will not allow such poor decisions to affect her children.  Ms Eirepa is 37 years old and should know better, if she doesn’t then we as a society collective should tell her that she is wrong and that Sonny Te Aramoana Waiti is not a good man at all.  He is a violent abuser who has no right to participate in society, let alone be around children. 

Now a rant without a solution by a person who takes no action is just that a rant. Those of you who know me know that I am not like that.  Today I emailed Child Youth and Family with a notification saying that if Ms Eirepa is in charge of her children or has them in her care that sshe has shown that she is not a fit parent.  It is not the first notification I have made and it won’t be the last.  I have approached people I know and told them that what is happeining in their lives is not acceptable and offered help as well as warned them of the long term consequences.  It is often a thankless task that can end with abuse and threats however in the end if I see and hear abuse and do nothing then I am as guilty as those who are actually doing it.  I do confess that at times it is a futile gesture as our child protection service is cumbersome, cash strapped and focussed not on the end outcome for the children but adult focussed on meeting key performance indicators.  If the interventions cost money it is just a bun fight trying to get others to pay.  The system is fundamentally flawed.  Why? Well simple we allow it to continue even when we know it is broken.  It serves it’s purpose as a salve to our conscience, it allows us to see that the issue is not our problem.

Paul

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2 responses to “The face of evil?

  1. your blogg came to mind when I read this off fb today “We had our first argument last night, and he said loads of cruel things that really hurt me. I KNOW he’s sorry and didn’t mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn’t believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.I know he MUST be sorry because he sent me flowers today.I got flowers today; it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again; it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him but scared to leave. But I know he MUST be sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him, I wouldn’t have gotten flowers today. If YOU are against Domestic Abuse, please pass this web site along to everyone – Not just women”

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  2. Unfortunately it is not just women who are the receptors of domestic violence. Children and men as well are victims…. Women and children are the most common victims, sad …!

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