Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey

An interesting title, I was having a conversation tonight with some one about the very same book.  I have read a little of the book and found its literary value to be rather limited.  Frankly the craft that went into writing this is somewhat limited, however before the howls of protest erupt I have (as usual ) something to say.

Fifty shades of grey has merit for one particular reason that is it has got people talking, on this occasion it is about sex.  There is a lot of professional jealousy about this book and certainly the kinds of numbers that it is generating that will attract attention but it is the talking that should garner the attention.  Although there is a huge increase in openness in society with many things that used to be sacrosanct considered open slather there seems to be from where I sit a paucity of real communication, honest to goodness sit down and talk about it.  Especially within relationships.

One of the most common claims I here is that he / she never talks to me or does not communicate.   When it comes to sex I think we are certainly reticent about discussing the matter certainly with our partners and most likely it is men who are the most reticent.  I have heard a number of Woman say I wish my husband/ partner would read this book.   I don’t think there are necessarily a lot of Woman who secretly desire their partner to invest in a riding crop and hand cuffs, perhaps there are but it really doesn’t matter, it would seem that there is considerable dissatisfaction in many bedrooms around the world.

Now I make no claim to expertise around these matters apart from what I know about communication.  You see it is real intimacy in action when this kind of communication can occur where two people can talk openly and freely about such a personal subject.   To talk about sex within a relationship (and I really mean an ongoing discussion) is really risky for many people however if one can talk about these issues which are so highly sensitive then it really bodes well for those other really important discussions about life and love.  Now I am not going to bang on about sex, I shall crack the whip and make my points.

The conversations that people are having about Fifty Shades of Grey are the kinds of conversations we need to be having about a lot of things, as the book has made mainstream something considered very alternative imagine the possibilities if we could main stream conversations about violence, poverty, abuse, obesity and mental illness.  We have seen some of those conversations like child poverty begin to emerge but putting milk into schools is not the answer.  It is a short term fix for kids right now which is great but a whole other conversation needs to be had.

The Million for a Million campaign is another one of those subjects that needs to become a household conversation.  I have written before how the difficulty of such a campaign is to gain real traction in the suburbs where people just want to make enough to pay the rent and to fill bellies.  We are in the middle of an obesity epidemic and no one wants to talk about it.   What is the answer?  Fifty shades of fat?  I think there are some sacred cows that need to be slain in order for obesity to be taken seriously.  I have talked about some of these things before so sorry if it sounds boring but here it is. I have yet to met an obese person who is really happy with their obesity.  They will terll you they are use words like I am happy with me and will brook no discussion on the subject. Hah is all I say to that.

Just a straw man fallacy. l if I am happy as a fat person then you have no right to suggest that I may be unhealthy and that perhaps underneath that existence I may be unhappy.  I know this because I have lived it and still do.  I have gone backwards over the last 4 months, I can blame all sorts of things but the simple truth is I took my eye off the ball and forgot the golden rule, calories in versus calories out.  The difference is that I tell myself and others the truth and am back on the exercise track.  Am I happy to see those kilos again. No way, not interested, will I ignore it nope I will confront it, publically in a forum like this as well.  You may ask why and I will tell you this.

Such a conversation normalises struggle and tells the truth about obesity, most clinically obsese people I have met are not happy!  End of story, I wasn’t and I consider my self pretty normal ( many may argue otherwise) .  As we enter into a new year I want to go back briefly over my blogs and revisit a few issues and hopefully will start some conversations that will lead to change for people.

Live, laugh and love.



One response to “Fifty Shades of Grey

  1. I don’t know if it is age, but we seem now to be able to have more normalised discussion about some medical conditions – particularly diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and cancer. We don’t see these as ‘horrible events’ or ‘moral failings’ – but rather life difficulties that people need support to manage their way through.
    But it is only the start. I have yet to see that really happen for any form of mental illness, in spite of the TV campaigns. And as you say, we have not normalised discussion about diet, exercise and body metabolism – which leads not only to obesity but a whole lot of other problems.
    Getting back to your original starting point – it is a shame that the church skips over the Song of Songs in the Bible and pretends like it is not really there. Unless we learn how to make love to universe, which is what I understand “that book” to represent, we won’t move forward on a whole lot of things.


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