Life is too short for regrets

  • Well a little time has passed since my last post, time for an update. This week has been busy 64 hours work since last Saturday. Not a lot in some peoples book for sure but enough for me, feeling rather jaded and my muse is not really upon me, however that is the difference between being a gunna and a doer. I have been mixing this week with a bunch of people that exhibit a high degree of passion for what they are doing. It is kind of infectious, but I hope I have the bug already.

    It is my determination to live my life with passion and that comes with a certain degree of risk taking. My last couple of years I have taken some risks, not all of them have worked but when I reflect, I don’t have any personal regrets. I am at another crossroads right now that is asking of me some decisions, not all of these are easy. Especially those that involve other peoples lives.

    The thought of change is scary, for me it is about moving out and on, necessary for my career, and my life, however with my children in my care it is a little more difficult. I can think of a million reasons (well a dozen) to stay where I am, but mostly I am afraid, not of anything in particular per se, and to be honest there is very little that holds me where I am, so if it is that bleak then why would I prevaricate about it?

    There is a certain comfort in the devil you know for sure, and it is oft said that the grass only seems greener on the other side of the fence but for me, the place I call home town , is a place of diremptive sadness. And yet here I am again. Life is sometimes like that, there is no reason to be somewhere, to be stuck in the same place but we do it any way. I have spoken about the drivers that impede change before and the major one being fear, but I wonder if just being comfortable in who you are or what you are is a factor.

    There is a certain satisfaction if indeed you are truly happy, however I suspect that those people are few and far between. Here in New Zealand we sell millions of lotto tickets every year, if people were truly happy, do you think they would buy lotto tickets? Now I am not some holier than thou, because I pay the tax on stupid people sometimes myself, I don’t spend much and I pass it off as a little bit of money for a big dream, but lately I have felt less inclined to buy a ticket in the lotto. This is interesting in that my life is in considerable turmoil right now, I have finished my teacher training and should be looking for work, not much around at the moment, I should be worried but right now it just doesn’t register as a concern.

    I have choices you see, and that is a lot more than many people have. I am thankful for choices. My priorities are my children and any significant people in my life, and in being true to myself. The thing is we all have choices, not in that which happens to us, but in how we construct and control our actions and responses, we need to focus on that which we can do not that which we can’t. There is opportunity in everything that happens which brings me back in a kind of circular way to where we started.

    People with passion, what does it take to be a person of passino? Well you have to believe in something for a start, put a stake in the ground but at the same time be prepared to be challenged and reflective, open to change and growth. James Blunt sings Give me reason but not choice cos I will just make the same mistake again. Well here is reason. Life can be gone in a flash. I realised this when I lay under a house with 230 volts coursing through my body, I realised it as I experienced an embolism where it could have been fatal and I realised it as a truck I was passing last year turned into me pushing me into a ditch and a utility pole!

    There are other reminders all around us that demand a response to that which happens around us. Life is gone in a flash and we need to live without regret, not the kind of spend free life but a life where we tell those people around us how special they are, how much we love them, to model a life full of wonderful loving, acceptance, forgiveness where we can and a life where we don’t wonder at what might have been.

    Live , laugh and love with abandon and passion.

    I intend to, in order that I honour those who don’t get the chance!

  • Arohanui
    Paul

 

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