Well I have had a bit of a break from the blog. Writing fatigue after a full year of study however I aspire to be a writer and writers do don’t they. Tonight I feel pensive (ooh surprise) and have my heart on my sleeve again. Recently I made some decisions in my personal life that have reconfirmed my single status again, As I do I have pondered on why it is that I would want to be in a relationship again? Just what is it that drives me to seek to find a soul mate a partner in this journey that we call life. I have talked about before how I seem to be hardwired to care.
The majority of my life I have spent caring for people both personally and professionally. There is some satisfaction about being single, seat up or down well who cares! What would you like for dinner tonight, ooh I get to choose. Bathroom door open or closed, my choice.
If I have a little wind well there it is! And yet I would give those freedoms up in a heart beat for the one. Note I said the one not anyone! I realise that I have become quite focused in that which I seek. I love someone who can stimulate my mind, engage in those deeper questions. I look for someone who is active and fit. I am looking for someone who is family orientated because for right now that is my life.
But I realise that as a sole parent with children 24/7 I am not necessarily considered a prime catch.I have friends for sure, good friends male and female and yet still there is a gap in my life. I certainly don’t need someone to do anything for me, I can cook, clean, care for my children, I even elevated myself to the domestic goddess status today by remodelling a shirt from a standard collar to a mandarin collar. My next project is to be able to take my own trousers up. All things that others would do for me but I have that independent (ok stubbornness) that comes from people thinking all he needs is a good woman. Well do I need a good woman. The answer is yes not for any particular skill or thing that they can do for me. Not for any physical needs I may have but someone to share my life with, the good and the bad.
Now what makes this a suitable subject for a blog. Where does one turn in this day and age to meet people. I don’t go to pubs or clubs. I can walk around the supermarket with my bananas up, join a club, print a t shirt, take out a classified or join an internet dating site.
I have done the latter. In some ways it is great, you can be very direct about what you are looking for (and what you are not). That same anonymity that allows for directness is however a two edged sword. It allows some people to be extremely rude and crass in their messages, It allows people to be uncommonly rude. If a stranger walked up to you in the street and said hello, how are you most likely you would reply even if you are not really interested. Common decency and courtesy seem to be rather rare at times. From the comments that I get from some of my friends there are clearly a lot of men out there who use the anonymity to make suggestions of a sexual nature that are not invited and certainly not welcome. They see a woman is on a dating site and think well god only knows what they think because it is beyond my understanding at times. No wonder men get such a bad rap.
I am not a prude by any means however I still have some very basic rules.
I have a picture posted of me, recent, I am upfront about my personal situation and my weight. I even have my last years salary posted, too much information I hear you screaming well it is just that I don’t have time to waste on communicating with someone who has very set ideas about their future partner to find out that there is some non negotiable thing that is a barrier to a relationship.
There will always be things that come up that may need to be negotiated and sometimes those things are deal breakers. I understand that but the basics are really easy to sort, smoking beeeeeep pass not for me! Religion /spirituality, children and politics. They all give a good indicator of potential problems or barriers to a relationship. These things however are only indicators nothing beats spending time together. There has to be that spark, that little charge of energy that transmits itself. Sometimes that charge is like 230 volts bam. Only time will tell really.
As for me personally well an eternally hopeful romantic, happy to spend a significant amount of time in getting to know someone, make some friends on the way but with an end goal somewhere in sight that is best summed up by this poem that I wrote.
Then Sings my Soul
That my soul would sing a song of joyhttp://softlyfallingpoetry.wordpress.com/2012/11/17/then-sings-my-soul-2/
Well I guess that is enough of a ramble through the garden of my mind for a little while. My next blog will be back to the old subject of goals, weight loss fitness etc. Till then live,laugh and love.