Wow, my last two posts have gone viral! Well in my terms anyway. I am not sure why they have attracted extra attention and I would be interested to know if it is the topic, or perhaps the personal sharing. Feel free to leave a comment if you would like to help me out.
I mentioned in my last blog that I decided to ask myself the question, was I capable of university study? Tertiary education (except for trades or occupations) was unknown in my wider family. Of my then 60 or so first cousins, none had a degree. Certainly none of my Aunts or Uncles or Grandparents. My Father was a learned man but he left school to support his widowed mother after he gained University Entrance. My mum was functionally literate but had left school at 13 to escape an impoverished and abusive family life.
I had no idea what going to university was about. I enrolled and began classes. I wanted to be a psychologist I had decided, even though I had no idea what a psychologist did. So I studied psychology. I was a part time student, my injured back and my emotional illiteracy prevented me from studying full time. University was a challenge for me. I enjoyed the reading and discussions but was absolutely scared stiff by any form of assessment. Enough on assessment that is fuel for later blogs. One of the ways to spot someone who is emotionally crippled by whatever, fear, anxiety, depression, anger narcissism, take your pick is the way that one looks at the world. Most people who fit this kind of category have a very concrete view of the world. they deal in absolutes and are unwilling to consider anything outside their known world.
Does this sound familiar? It certainly describes me at that time. My last name was right and first name always . Woe behold anyone who tried to challenge that. I was a didactic philosopher whose opinion was that I could not be wrong and I would badger anyone down who tried to challenge me. You see I needed to have that opinion because if my opinion was challenged in any area of my life it would be enough to cause me to question all of it. Not a place that I could go. the effects of doing that were too horrendous as far as I was concerned.
Can you imagine coming into an academic world from that perspective? Fortunately at level one in university, lecturers are tolerant and explicit that you may have anyone else’s opinion as long as it was someone else’s and you referenced it. This started to open up possibilities that there were thoughts outside of my known world that I needed to engage in.
I bumbled my way through the first year of University with very average results, however it was the beginning of the end of ignorance and the beginning of the start of the age of reason in my life I cringe when I think of the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours that I had and acted out on through this time.
Well that is enough today I better move on. Have a great day,